“How Old Is Too Old To Be Single?”

To change the conversation, we had to start the conversation. 

 

The wonderful HuffPost Live asked me to join their discussion earlier today titled “How Old Is Too Old To Be Single?”

I’ve written about turning 35, and not being where I had always planned to be. And I’ve written also about how complicated it can feel, being happy with the life you’ve created, but still yearning for something else.

What has resonated for me the most in publishing these pieces is the feedback from the people who have read them. Those in similar circumstances who saw their own yearnings reflected back, and those with completely opposite circumstances who saw those same reflections. There was no “perfect life”, married or single, it seemed.

It struck me how many people also shared that they hadn’t previously felt comfortable admitting to all of the feelings encompassed by not being who or where or what they thought they should be. The fear, the shame, the sadness, the freedom, the independence, the resignation…all of these feelings a reaction to expectations that age was a marker for something other than years spent on this planet.

One of the ways to start dissolving these stigmas about having to be anything at any specific age is to start talking about them. To start acknowledging that there are other paths, and that straying from the traditional one is not bad, not good, just different and equally acceptable. To start seeking to understand each other, rather than judge what we don’t know. To stop putting pressure on ourselves and on others to conform to a mold that is not one size fits all.

Today’s conversation is hopefully the first of many that will start to lift the veil on how to find happiness in life, regardless of being “a certain age”…or of any particular age at all.

HuffPost Live: How Old Is Too Old To Be Single

"How Old Is Too Old To Be Single"

“How Old Is Too Old To Be Single”

 

xx,

Katie

7 thoughts on ““How Old Is Too Old To Be Single?”

  1. Bravo Katie! You rock!!! 😊

    I logically know, yet struggle at times to accept, that we are where we need to be at every given moment. Although, most of the time, we ALL question & continuously judge &feel we stand in judgement by others.
    It would be a lighter existence if we shut the door on listening to the Nay Sayers.
    I feel it’s about arriving to a place where you can comfortably sit accepting. Accepting that it’s all about listening to your inner voice, the one that starts with a whisper, a nudge, & sometimes hits you with a brick. The voice that holds the true, authentic answers to the questions one poses for oneself. The place where you feel at peace, trusting no matter the outcome, you know having listened to your own voice, you are wholly where you need to be, allowing all other noise to become silent. Finding a way to let go of feeling the need to listen to what others see & advise, as what they feel, ‘could be or should be’, the best or most appropriate answers to all the burning questions one has,no matter the age you may be.
    Basically in summary:
    “I’m here. I’m me. I’m where I consciously & subconsciously need to be. So thank you for your opinions & advice, but party on bitches with your views on what you think I should be, cuz I’m just fine & I’m at peace, sitting in the space that is chosen & designed by me”😊

  2. This is so great, Katie! (Also, I’m really glad you blogged).
    I grew up in the church and as a result, the majority of my friends were married with babies on the way at 19 or 20. It is always hard to look at a best friend from that time, a girl born the exact same day as me (I’m 25) and know that she is married with three little kids (her daughter is in Kindergarten for crying out loud) and I am still single. I’m glad this video talked about the cultural aspects because that definitely comes into play.
    I really like what you said about friends needing your life to make sense to them and look more like theirs. So true.
    Thanks for sharing ❤

  3. I wish that someone would have been telling me this kind of thing when I was in my early 30s. Or – even better – as a teenager! I do think there is a shift happening but we really do all need to start talking more about letting go of the “shoulds.” You’re doing important work, missy. 🙂

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